Life changes are an essential part of our lives. Once one door closes it seems like another door is opening. Change sometimes signifies growth and progress; Both of these things can be scary because they come with uncertainty, second guessing, and self doubt. The unknown is not a place to hesitate, but rather a place to explore new growth.

A cognitive distortion is a faulty or inaccurate thinking, perception, or belief, according to the APA Dictionary of Psychology. This is a normal psychological process that takes place within out cognitions, or thoughts. The way we think is altered by the way we see the world around us. These cognitive distortions can taint this view and cause us to view things askew thus causing us to behave in a maladaptive or poorly behaved way.

When transitioning or leveling up there are unique safeguards that we create to protect ourselves from pending danger. Sometimes there is no movement when we anticipate loss or failure. Sometimes our resources, past successes and resilience is forgotten when facing a new and difficult task. Whether it be a new job position, opening a new business, growing a family, or entering into a self awareness journey, transitions are necessary to reach goals. Here are some
cognitive distortions to avoid during transition.

– Justification and moral licensing – making progress towards a goal and therefore feel it is
okay to act in ways inconsistent with it.
Example : “I’ve been consistently eating right and exercising. I’ve lost 3 pounds so I can afford
to take a couple of weeks off from my regime”.

We’ve all been here. It’s common to back up when you’ve seen progress. Do more of what works, consistently. It’s your consistency that will continue to yield results!

– All or nothing thinking – when seeing things fully to your expectations or considering it a
failure.
Example: “I made a goal to bring in $500 this week and I’m shy of $50 dollars. I knew I
shouldn’t have even tried because I always fail!”

Setting goals and expecting to meet them is an excellent way to challenge ourselves. It’s okay to shoot for the stars and land amongst the clouds. Celebrate the increase, regroup and plan to meet your goal again the next time. Consider every forward motion a win!

– Shoulds and musts – this distortion is influenced by societal standards and expectations.
Due to comparison, there are benchmarks and lifestyle attainment that must or should be
met at a certain age or within a time window.
Example: “I have been working at this job for a year, I should be further up at this point!”

Creating and managing expectations is how to determine what we predict our experiences to be. At times we lose sight that every journey is different. Although there are other people climbing the ladder, receiving accolades, and collecting raises, it does not mean those same opportunities are not available to you. Trusting the process can be difficult when we are comparing our narratives to someone else’s. Each path is different and unique with no one way that should happen or must be done.

Transitioning can be tough but the results are worth the challenge. Remember to be gentle with yourself as this process is both different and new. You are your own competition and each day you have the chance to do better than the day before.